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Everyday habits for a meaningful life.
Let’s start with a short fable, shall we? A young boy leaves his home to follow his dream and become a shoemaker. He travels far and wide, inspired by his calling, and finally stumbles upon an expert shoemaker willing to be his mentor.
The man sits him on a bench, puts a hand on his shoulder, and says, “You’ve come to the right place. I know everything you need to become the best shoemaker you can be.” The boy listens eagerly as the man talks about the discipline required, the importance of the materials used, and the myths about shoemaking to avoid. At the end of his speech, he nods with finality.
“Thank you so much, sir,” the boy says. “I just have one question.”
The old man murmurs, wondering what on earth he hadn’t covered.
“How do you make a pair of shoes?”
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How do you bring meaning to your day?
In this blog, I’ve defined that a meaningful life must have four universal elements: belonging, purpose, storytelling, and transcendence. I’ve also discussed the need for you to create your own metrics for meaning within these four elements, and ignore the false societal narratives that are tricking you.
Additionally, there are myths about finding your purpose to avoid, as well as obstacles you will have to overcome.
But the one question I haven’t answered is this:
How do you bring meaning into your day?
Many of us get caught up in the grand, daunting concept of meaning. This is one of the reasons it feels so hopeless when we try to find meaning in our own lives. What is the meaning of life? just feels so damn large and inaccessible.
This question is large, but it doesn’t have to be inaccessible. What’s more, there are nine everyday habits for a meaningful life that you can begin right now.
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9 Everyday Habits for a Meaningful Life
1. Connect with others
Humans need to feel a sense of belonging. It’s through our relationships with others that we derive the most meaning. Unfortunately, we isolate ourselves and fail to connect with the people that we care about.
Evaluate your daily routine. How often do you interact with other people? Of those people, how many of them do you consider meaningful relationships?
It’s so easy for us to fall into routines and get caught up with our busy lives. However, it doesn’t require a considerable change to implement connection as one of the everyday habits for a meaningful life.
Consider when you have pockets of time to make a phone call; whether it’s on your drive home from work, as you’re making dinner, or during a quick 10-minute break, there are more opportunities than you think. If you can’t always call, make time to message or write people that you value.
Meanwhile, during your daily routine, be intentional in your conversations with others.
Yes, you could put your headphones in and avoid conversation. But you could also open yourself up, ask questions to the people around you, and bring more connection into your day.
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2. Practice gratitude each night
Nobody would question the benefits of gratitude, but not many people know exactly how to implement it into their daily routine.
A great time to practice gratitude is right before you go to sleep.
As you lie in bed, think back on your day and find at least one thing that you’re grateful for. If you want to make it a more purposeful practice, consider buying a “Thank You Journal” to put by your bedside. While journaling can seem long and draining, scribbling down a quick bullet note only takes about 20 seconds.
You can also create this habit with your partner or roommate. Make it a nightly routine to ask each other, “What were you thankful for today?” before going to sleep.
At the end of a bad day, it might feel impossible to feel appreciative. However, by drawing attention to one thing you’re grateful for every day, you can begin to rewire your brain toward the positives in your life.
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3. Set reasonable goals
Many of us attach meaning to our pursuits, but we go about it the wrong way. We get inspired and then set crazy, unrealistic goals for ourselves. Not only does this set us up for failure, but it mislabels meaning as this grand, earth-changing thing.
One of the everyday habits for a meaningful life is to set reasonable daily goals.
What do you want to accomplish today? If you have long-term goals, what can you do this week to get closer to your goal? While you need to be forward-thinking with your bigger life goals, you must break them down into small, more manageable steps.
You also must make sure that your life goals are reasonable. What are you defining as your metrics for success?
Humans naturally compare ourselves to others, and usually, that comparison is toward those higher than us. As you pursue your purpose, consider if your goal is something that you can accomplish. If it’s not, figure out how to modify it so it’s more reasonable.
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4. Take pause throughout your day
Our culture rewards continuous productivity. As a to-do list connoisseur, I love to cross off items as I work my way down a list. I tackle my tasks with the forward movement of a freight train (one without breaks, mind you).
When we’re always looking to the next task, however, we fail to find meaning in the work we’ve already done.
Take pause throughout your day, even just for a moment. After you complete a task, pause and acknowledge the achievement before moving onto the next job. This will help you appreciate that your efforts are meaningful.
Furthermore, taking pause as everyday habits for a meaningful life will allow you to tap into your self-awareness.
Being self-aware is critical in identifying where you derive meaning in your daily life. By taking a pause, you can check in with your emotions and your values. How did you feel? Why? What do you want to change? What do you want to celebrate?
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5. Reflect on what went well in your day
Speaking of celebrating, it’s important that you acknowledge when things go well in your day. This isn’t an arrogant gesture. Quite the opposite, actually; it opens yourself up to self-improvement.
By reflecting on what went well, you can begin to understand what role your actions played in those successes.
Self-awareness is incredibly tricky. We don’t always feel like we’re in control of our emotions or actions. And, when we can’t even identify our own thoughts and desires, it’s pretty hard to identify the meaningful actions we take every day.
Identifying what went well and why allows us to see our role in creating meaning. In doing so, we can begin to structure our days around actions that will bring further meaning to our lives.
As with practicing gratitude, focusing on what went well also rewires our brain to focus on the positive.
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6. Create an environment that limits distraction
We know the things that universally give us meaning: important relationships and purposeful work. Why, then, is it so easy for us to neglect these things? Our outdated brain biases, deep-rooted emotions, and overstimulating society steal our attention away.
Endless distractions pulls us away from our values. Until you learn to ignore these distractions, you can help yourself by creating an environment that limits their temptations.
For example, it’s much easier for me to pull up Netflix than to pull up a good book (even though the book brings me more joy). To limit this distraction, I can leave my laptop plugged in at the desk. Then, when I’m in my bedroom at the end of the night, my book is the closest thing to me and looks like the best option.
Of all our everyday habits for a meaningful life, this particular habit might seem difficult. The key is to be intentional with the distractions in your immediate surroundings.
Are you spending more time on Instagram than calling your friends? Maybe try to delete the app for a few days. Struggling to wake up and go to the gym, even though you want to? Lay out your clothes the night before, and don’t even turn on the television as you get ready.
Little actions can help you implement a healthier and more meaningful routine.
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7. Eliminate unnecessary choice
The other detriment of our media-filled society is the number of choices we’re now faced with. Gone are the days of a few, simple options. (I can still hear my dad murmuring about when there used to only be three TV channels). Whether we’re shopping, looking for entertainment, or planning for work, the options that we’re faced with seem infinite.
This is what researchers have called the paradox of choice. An overabundance of choice actually diminishes our satisfaction and happiness.
Humans have to make over 30,000 decisions a day. Because this number is so large, our unconscious brain takes over many of the decisions for us. In today’s age of media and consumerism, however, we’re forced to make choices all of the time. This constant decision-making is draining our energy and brainpower.
An everyday habit to avoid this drain is to eliminate this unnecessary choice. Take inventory of the choices you have to make each day and narrow down your options.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who spends hours scrolling through Netflix and Hulu trying to choose what to watch – even though there are hundreds of options. When I do finally decide, I can’t quiet the voice that says, I wonder if a different choice would have been better. This decreases my satisfaction. Now, I simply have my fiancé give me three options, and I choose one of the three.
This limits my choices and makes the overall experience more meaningful.
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8. Learn something new
People are complex and unpredictable beings, but there is one thing that you can always count on: we never stop changing. In fact, many philosophies declare that the only way to reach happiness is to keep evolving.
To bring meaning to our daily lives, we need to maintain the habit of learning something new.
If you think this sounds like a daunting task, shift your mindset about what “something new” might be. I’m not talking about picking up a new hobby every day (although imagine the fantastic adult playroom you could create it you did). While you can take on a new skill or practice, you can also focus on information and ideas.
Be open to learning new information about the world, your relationships, or yourself. This simple habit can develop our appreciation and help us find meaning.
I personally love podcasts. Other people enjoy a good exchange of ideas around the water cooler. If you’re reading this blog and contemplating how it affects your life, you’ve already grown today. (Anyone want to write me a testimonial? Anyone?) The possibilities to learn something new are endless.
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9. Do something for someone else
It’s been tested, studied, and tried; all of the research shows that helping others helps us feel happier. This effect taps into our human need for belonging and socialization.
One of the most essential everyday habits for a meaningful life is simple: do something for someone else.
This doesn’t have to be a massive act. We see small examples every day, such as when one person gives up their seat or carries something for someone else. Additionally, if you know the people around you, you will know what they might need or want as a kind gesture.
This habit doesn’t require huge amounts of time or money, if any at all. You just need to keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities to lend a hand.
In the last three days of my 14-day quarantine, multiple friends of mine have done something for me. One called to check in. Another sent me a surprise Amazon care package. Finally, one gave me recipes to choose from and offered to drop off the groceries so I could cook.
These acts didn’t take much from them, but they made a big difference for me. What’s more – the act itself probably gave them a strong sense of meaning.
Conclusion
Meaning can be a grand and abstract term. As we talk about the myths and methods for building a meaningful life, it’s important to zoom in and look at a narrower question.
How do you bring meaning into your day?
If you carry out these 9 everyday habits for a meaningful life, it won’t be long before you notice a big difference in your overall well being:
- Connect with others
- Practice gratitude each night
- Set reasonable goals
- Take pause throughout your day
- Reflect on what went well in your day
- Create an environment that limits distraction
- Eliminate unnecessarily choice
- Learn something new
- Do something for someone else
Did this post give you something new to learn for today? Try practicing one of the other everyday habits for a meaningful life by answering one of the questions below.
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FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS
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Comment below with answers, ideas, and more questions, or contact me to collaborate on a future post!
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EXPLORING YOURSELF
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How often do you find yourself overwhelmed or drained from making choices?
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Which of these habits do you feel most inspired to do?
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How would you evaluate your daily interactions with other people?
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EXPANDING YOUR WORLD
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How has the media rewired our brains?
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Why does helping others have such a strong correlation with happiness?
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What obstacles hold people back from doing things they want to do?
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