[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” hundred_percent_height_center_content=”yes” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” status=”published” publish_date=”” class=”@media only screen and ( min-width: 800px ) {padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; }” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” video_preview_image=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” margin_top=”-30px” margin_bottom=”” padding_top=”” padding_right=”12%” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”12%” admin_label=”Large Screen text”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ spacing=”” center_content=”no” link=”” target=”_self” min_height=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_image_id=”” background_position=”left top” background_repeat=”no-repeat” hover_type=”none” border_size=”0″ border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” border_radius=”” box_shadow=”no” dimension_box_shadow=”” box_shadow_blur=”0″ box_shadow_spread=”0″ box_shadow_color=”” box_shadow_style=”” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”0px” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=”” last=”true” first=”true”][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”default” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=””]
[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”off” highlight_width=”9″ highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” content_align=”left” size=”1″ font_size=”” animated_font_size=”” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_color=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” style_type=”default” sep_color=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” margin_bottom=”-55px” margin_bottom_mobile=”-50px”]Our Incorrect Happiness Formula[/fusion_title][fusion_sharing tagline=”” tagline_color=”” backgroundcolor=”#d6d6d6″ title=”” link=”” description=”” icons_boxed=”no” icons_boxed_radius=”” color_type=”brand” icon_colors=”” box_colors=”” tooltip_placement=”” pinterest_image=”” pinterest_image_id=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” /][fusion_imageframe image_id=”2308|full” max_width=”1000px” style_type=”bottomshadow” blur=”” stylecolor=”” hover_type=”none” bordersize=”0″ bordercolor=”#000000″ borderradius=”” align=”center” lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” lightbox_image_id=”” alt=”” link=”” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″]https://myquestionlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Happiness-formula.jpeg[/fusion_imageframe][fusion_separator style_type=”none” sep_color=”” border_size=”” icon=”” icon_size=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” alignment=”center” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” top_margin=”15px” bottom_margin=”15px” /][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”default” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=””]
I’m in the middle of writing all of these posts about connection, relationships, and how to find and build meaningful relationships with others. I realize that they’re not universally useful to everyone. For example, I don’t feel a hole in my life in the friends’ department (well, except for the fact that Netflix removed the TV show Friends from its platform, which I’m still upset about).
There is something related to our relationships and happiness, however, that is useful for all of us. It’s also astounding.
Our Happiness Formula is Incorrect
Let’s use a basic happiness formula to describe our perspective:
It seems straightforward.
Unfortunately, it’s not.
Countless studies have discovered a surprising paradox when it comes to happiness. People who try to pursue happiness are actually less likely to experience positive emotions. Instead, they are more likely to experience higher levels of depression, loneliness, and negative moods.
people want happiness > people pursue happiness NOT EQUAL people are happier.
So, where does our happiness formula go wrong?
We know the first part is correct. Happiness is a state of positive emotions or overall well-being. Everyone desires to be happy. We’re emotionally-charged humans; it’s unavoidable that we want to feel good. It’s also good for our health.
Therefore, it must be our second component where the happiness formula breaks down.
A series of well-respected researches wanted to see why pursuing being happy did not lead to happiness. They also realized that these findings were all from studies done in the United States.
As a result, they conducted a study in five different countries: the U.S., Britain, Russia, Japan, and Taiwan. In the study, they instructed participants to actively pursue happiness. Afterward, they tested their results.
In Russia, Japan, and Taiwan, the participants reported higher levels of well-being after pursuing happiness. In the United States and Britain, the participants reported lower levels of well-being.
Our happiness formula works for some countries, but it doesn’t work for the United States or Britain.
What’s the difference? How are people in Asian countries pursuing happiness differently?
The missing piece to our happiness formula is whether the culture emphasizes the individual or the collective.
The United States and Britain promote an individualistic culture. When researchers directed participants to pursue being happy, they did things that would benefit them individually. They bought themselves things, tried to achieve success, and attempted to make themselves feel better.
And it didn’t work.
Conversely, the other three countries have a strong emphasis on the collective group rather than the individual. When researchers directed participants to pursue happiness, they focused on their social engagements and how to make their social groups happier. As a result, their individual happiness increased.
Our Western society teaches us that happiness comes from individual successes and experiences. It turns out, we’re terribly wrong.
And our happiness formula all goes back to belonging.
Humans are wired for connection. We need to feel a sense of belonging to be happy. It only makes sense that, to increase our happiness, we should increase the joys of our social belonging.
So next time you think about happiness, I encourage you to think of this new happiness formula. It might actually work.
.
[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container admin_label=”Large Screen follow-up” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” hundred_percent_height_center_content=”yes” equal_height_columns=”no” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” status=”published” publish_date=”” class=”” id=”” border_size=”0″ border_color=”” border_style=”solid” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” padding_top=”” padding_right=”10%” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”10%” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ background_color=”#000000″ background_image=”” background_position=”center center” background_repeat=”no-repeat” fade=”no” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_blend_mode=”none” video_mp4=”” video_webm=”” video_ogv=”” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_loop=”yes” video_mute=”yes” video_preview_image=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ layout=”1_1″ spacing=”” center_content=”no” link=”” target=”_self” min_height=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_image_id=”” background_position=”left top” background_repeat=”no-repeat” hover_type=”none” border_size=”0″ border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_position=”all” border_radius=”” box_shadow=”no” dimension_box_shadow=”” box_shadow_blur=”0″ box_shadow_spread=”0″ box_shadow_color=”” box_shadow_style=”” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_offset=”” last=”true” first=”true”][fusion_title hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=”” content_align=”center” size=”1″ font_size=”” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”3px” margin_top=”5px” margin_bottom=”-40px” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” text_color=”#4f81ef” style_type=”double solid” sep_color=”#0220ff”]Interested in more ideas?[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”default” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”” id=””]
Like what you read? Sign up to get my weekly newsletter, along with updates about my latest posts and content. Join a growing community of people who believe that we can change the world and our lives by being curious.
Plus, you’re not going to want to miss out on the ideas I have bouncing around my brain (a community of real connections, online courses to help you find clarity, connection, and meaning, and best-selling T-shirt slogans (note: still looking for best-selling T-shirt slogans)).
[/fusion_text][fusion_code]PGRpdiBjbGFzcz0ibWwtZm9ybS1lbWJlZCIKICBkYXRhLWFjY291bnQ9IjE2MDM3ODY6ajRsMGozaTVtMSIKICBkYXRhLWZvcm09IjE4NDAwOTY6djd4N2s3Ij4KPC9kaXY+[/fusion_code][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
