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70 Questions to Ask People About Yourself and Become More Self-Aware

July 3, 2020

Do you want to learn more about yourself? Turns out, people are awful at self-awareness. (I’m talking like, got cut from the JV team terrible.) Our egos make it challenging to accept feedback. Our emotions cloud our insight, and our cultural conditioning makes us terrified to be vulnerable.

Basically, we can’t trust our own thinking.

If we can’t trust ourselves, how else can we learn about ourselves?

Fortunately, the people around us can help us to improve our self-awareness. And this post will give you the questions to ask people about yourself.

Have you ever pointed out a behavior or pattern to someone in your life that you thought was super obvious? And then that person was like, “Do I really? I didn’t realize I did that!”

It’s hard to see ourselves. That’s why we must tap into the people around us for greater insight, and these “getting to know you” questions to ask people about yourself can help.

Think you’re self-aware? Take my free, easy self-awareness test.

Skip to the different topics of questions to ask people about yourself and build your self-awareness:

Questions to Ask Your Coworkers
Questions to Ask Your Employees
Questions to Ask Your Bosses
Questions to Ask Your Friends
Questions to Ask Your Family
Questions to Ask Your Partner
Questions to Ask Your Roommate

Being Vulnerable Enough to Receive Feedback from Others: Getting to Know you Questions

For the majority of us, the thought of asking for feedback is a terrifying process. We’re afraid of what people will say, and we’re afraid fo what they won’t say. Our defense mechanisms are going to rear up and try to protect us from the truth. (“You’re wrong!” she shouted, throwing water in her friend’s face and running away screaming.)

It requires vulnerability to take on these questions to ask people about yourself. Additionally, you have to make yourself vulnerable to receive the answers. Being vulnerable means taking an emotional risk without knowing the exact outcome. Contrary to cultural myths, vulnerability is a sign of enormous courage.

It will take courage for you to ask people these questions about yourself. You must receive feedback, reflect, and respond with patience and self-compassion. However, it will entirely be worth it.

When you learn about yourself, you open up new possibilities to create greater meaning in your life. You can focus on your joy and strengths, as well as learn how to diminish the impact of your weaknesses.

Learn more about why vulnerability is so important for a happy life.

Asking Other People Questions Will Also Improve Your External Self-Awareness

These questions to ask people about yourself will also teach you about your impact on others. This type of self-awareness, called external self-awareness, is key to a happy life. External self-awareness is our ability to understand how others see us. It can encompass single actions, generalized behaviors, or large-scale impacts.

Having external self-awareness has enormous benefits for your life. It will strengthen your relationships. It will also help you achieve more success, as well as have more positive interactions.

Without further ado, here are questions to ask people about yourself.

Learn more about external self-awareness and why it can change your life.

70 Questions to Ask People About Yourself: Questions to Be More Self-Aware

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Questions to Ask Your Coworkers

What is one of the strongest qualities that I bring to my work?
What type of work environment do I create around me?
How have I supported you in your work?
When have you felt that I could have supported you more?
How do my unique contributions help lead us to success?
What change could I make that would have the greatest impact on my ability to succeed?
If you were to breakdown my attitude and mindset, what percent would be positive versus negative?
What changes or growth have you seen me make with this work?
Based on your observations of me, what would you say that my values are?
How clear am I when communicating messages?

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Questions to Ask Your Employees

How supported do you feel in your current role?
If you were in my shoes, what would you change?
What do you believe is one of my greatest strengths?
What is something I can improve on to better support my employees?
How clear am I when communicating messages and expectations?
Have I made it clear what my values and vision are for our work?
Based on your observations of me, what would you say that my values are?
What is something that I do that you find really helpful?
What is something that I do that you find frustrating or limiting?
How do you feel the organization/business is doing overall?

Questions to Ask Your Bosses

What is one of my greatest strengths in this job?
What is something that I could do better?
How would other people describe me?
How have I positively contributed to collective success?
How supportive am I to the people around me?
When have you seen me most motivated?
What do I uniquely bring to the team that I should do emphasize even more?
If you were in my shoes, what would you differently?
What would help me be even more successful?
How clear am I with my communications and language?

Questions to Ask Your Friends

What is something that I do really well for my own success?
What is something positive that I bring to my relationships?
What patterns or actions do I repeat, even if they’re not good for me?
What changes have you noticed in me?
What have you seen as the most motivating for me?
What brings me the most joy in life?
How is my attitude when facing challenges?
What do I do that holds me back from success and happiness?
Based on your observations of me, what would you say my values are?
How aware am I of my impact on others?

Questions to Ask Your Family

How have I changed over the years?
What patterns from childhood do I still exhibit in my adult life? (Whether it be coping mechanisms, ways of thinking, or positive attributes)
What have you seen as the most motivating for me?
When have you seen me at my happiest? What made me feel so happy?
When have you seen me at my lowest? What made me feel so low?
What negative behaviors or habits have I depended on over the years?
How have my friendships changed over my life?
When were you most worried about me? What made you worried?
When were you most proud of me? What made you proud?
Where do I still need to improve my understanding of myself?

Questions to Ask Your Partner

What are my most attractive qualities?
How have you seen me change in our relationship?
What have you seen as the most motivating for me?
If you were to list my values, what would they be? Do you think I would agree?
What are my blind spots? (In other words, the areas of my life that I struggle to see clearly)
How do I handle challenges and setbacks?
What are some of my biggest challenges in life?
How aware am I of my emotions and impact on others?
What gives me the most purpose and meaning in life?
If you could give me one intangible gift, what would it be?

Questions to Ask Your Roommate

What is a positive contribution that I make to our living space?
What mood do I convey to my roommate(s)?
When am I most positive? What causes this positive state?
When am I most on edge? What causes this tension?
How aware am I of my emotions and impact on others?
How clear am I with my communication and language?
What is one thing that you wish I understood better?
What do I spend the majority of my time doing?
What changes have you noticed in me since living together?
How do you think I could improve my overall health and wellbeing?

Conclusion

We all struggle to be self-aware. About 90% of people would claim to be self-aware when only 10-15% actually are.

These questions to ask people about yourself will help you improve your self-awareness. If you are brave enough to ask the questions, and really listen to the feedback, you’ll be surprised by how much you’ll learn about yourself.

Make sure you are patient and kind to yourself in this self-discovery process. It might not be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

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